I will no longer be updating Iron Guide (see below). Instead, I am now writing at my new, personal blog. Though that will be about some of the newer things I'm doing in life, if you want to see updates about Louie, Lester, and now Dusky, add me on Facebook -- there's enough ridiculously cute pictures to go around.

Louie graduated Saturday. A bunch of us, 8 humans and 2 dogs, drove down to the Oregon Guide Dogs campus to see Louie and his new partner, Don, finish training and start their life together.

It was a deeply bittersweet experience. On the one hand, I'm incredibly proud of Louie and Don and it's quite amazing to see how they already get along and work together. It's like they've been a team for ages, not just two weeks. Louie is quite the handsome dog now, having filled out and bulked up to look like a real man, not the lanky, awkward teenager of a puppy he was when he went back to school. Mature, careful about where he was leading Don, just a little aloof around strangers as he should be, he wasn't my little, smelly-ears Louie any more. (He had an ear infection when he was younger. The infection went away. The name stuck.) He was a real guide dog now. People kept telling me how fantastic he was during training and how proud of him I should be, but I really didn't need much prodding: I was already very, very proud of Louie. Anymore and I'd need to go out and buy a "My dog is a honor student" bumper sticker and stick it on my forehead.

On the other hand, it broke my heart to see him again. He was happy to see me, no doubt, tail wagging, climbing up into my lap and trying to give me sloppy wet kisses, toppling me over into the wall... but... no, not quite as happy as before. No bunny hops. No butt wags. No squirming and wriggling with joy. He was worried, concerned about being separated from Don and wondering if Don was alright.

And there it was. When we walked up to the stage, just before I was to formally present Louie to Don, Louie saw Don on the opposite end, waiting off to the side just as we were. That was it. Louie zeroed in, craning his neck around to make sure he didn't lose sight of Don, and never once took his eyes off him. We walked up to the stage, I released him and handed over the leash to Don. There it all was. The Louie bunny hop: all four paws off the ground, bounce, bounce bounce bounce, hopping circles around Don. The squirming and wriggling. The butt swinging every which way. He wasn't my little puppy anymore. He was Don's dog now.

The audience loved it, cheering and laughing with every squirm and wag. I kept up a smile and laughed too, but even that was tough. It felt like someone had punched me full force in the gut. I could actually physically feel the heavy pit in my stomach.

It wasn't a matter of jealousy. Not in the least. Sure, there was that little selfish part of me that wished Louie had been as excited and ecstatic to see me, but... everything else in me knew that it was so much more important, indescribably so, that Louie bond with Don and that he be Don's dog and only his dog. Had Louie been just as excited to see me as when he was my puppy, well... wouldn't that exactly be the problem? He'd still be my puppy. He wouldn't be Don's dog. And that would defeat the purpose of everything. Sure, there is that selfish part of me that wants to keep Louie for myself, but then there is everything else in me that knows it's so much more important to let him go.

To love and let go. That's what it really comes down to, doesn't it? Pouring in your heart to them, giving them all the love you can muster up, taking as much care of them as you can... but then letting them go when the time comes. And, perhaps more painfully, seeing them let go of you and pass that love onto someone else.

Judy was right. Family and dear friends aside, it's about as close to a direct gift of love one human being can give another. I really see it now.

It's the right thing to do. I'll just keep telling myself that.

As tough as it was, I still wouldn't have it any other way. I think I'll be doing this for as long as I can.


Don, Louie, Nancy (Don's wife), Brady (Nancy's guide), and Lester and I at graduation.

Labels: Lester, Louie

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It's been a busy, busy month and I've been just awful about updating this blog. I've (again) been yelled at (multiple times!) for not writing in such a long time, so here I am. What with 14-hour days being the norm now and 18-hour days considered long, I simply don't have the time to write as much as before, but I'll try to post at least once or twice a week going ahead. Not that any of you will complain, but I think it'll be more pictures than text. :P But seriously, if I slack again, just yell at me... that seems to work!

So, here's the thirty-second summary of everything Lester and I have done in the past thirty days in thirty pictures. I've, uh, taken some creative license with the story. :)

OK, here goes.

Lester and I went on a road trip down the Pacific coast to Los Angeles. We stopped at the beach, where Lester (was made to) pose for a picture,


after which he proceeded to lick (what was left of) his manhood,


but then tried to eat some seaweed,


and instead got a mouthful of sand. "Who me? I didn't try to eat nothin'." Sure.


I climbed up a (very tall) lighthouse that wouldn't let Lester up with me, so I left Lester at the bottom and made the gate lady watch him. If you look closely, you can see his foot.


Lester cried like a little baby (many times) when I jumped off a cliff (many times),


but then forgot all about his angst and slept ...


... switched positions, and then slept some more,


while I drove


and drove and drove.


At some point, I stuck Lester in a very big tree


and then another


but, finally, he got even with me by getting Koji to convince me that, sure, it'd be fun take them both on a walk at the same time. Never again.


A little wiser but with a couple more white hairs, Lester and I flew back from LA on Alaska Airlines,


passing not only the official security with flying colors


but also this random dude's impromptu up-close-and-personal check-up,


with Lester curling up into a nice little ball under the seat in front of me. See, I told you they fit. :P


Missing Koji, Lester found this crazy-looking pig in Seattle, became the best of friends, and begged me to take a picture of them together so he could remember him forever ...


... but their fate was not to be, as I had to run off to one of many meetings with lawyers, designers, CTOs, CEOs, and just all sorts of CXOs, and Lester was sad. But, then he went and found another pig


and another


but then got bored of the whole pig thing and went out and ran a triathlon. Where'd that come from? Who knows.


As a reward, we all pitched in and got him... an orange juice container, but Lester was a little confused initially


and wanted a GoughNuts toy instead like all the other cool kids,


so he got that too and now carries it around everywhere like it's his favorite blankie.


Still, once or twice he gets into things he really shouldn't


or gets himself stuck in places he knows he shouldn't be,


and finds himself in big trouble,


but, all in all, he's coming along pretty well and his big brother Louie is rooting for him to make it through.


Crap. Only 29 pictures. OK. Bubbles!

Labels: Lester, Louie

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