I will no longer be updating Iron Guide (see below). Instead, I am now writing at my new, personal blog. Though that will be about some of the newer things I'm doing in life, if you want to see updates about Louie, Lester, and now Dusky, add me on Facebook -- there's enough ridiculously cute pictures to go around.

Did I miss something? Is soap a puppy delicacy?

So far, whenever I go to the bathroom or take a shower, I always leave Lester in his crate. That's caused some amusing situations in and of itself, but this is actually a big problem. How do I go to the restroom when I'm away from home? Most raisers can hand off a puppy to someone else, a mom, a husband or wife, brother, etc. but I really don't have that option: wherever I go, Lester goes, and if Lester can't go somewhere, I can't go there either. This is a problem. I need to go the bathroom!

What's the big deal about public restrooms?

Well, for one, it's very delicate matter. Guys have all sorts of rules about urinal and restroom etiquette.



How do you teach a teach all that to a puppy? Here, among a dozen other men lined up against the wall, each doing their business, is another guy doing his business with a puppy sitting behind him. That puppy is guaranteed to be sniffing around, and, at the very least, trying to figure out what other mischief he can get away with.

Even with a perfectly-mannered puppy, it means putting the puppy into a sit-stay -- no down-stay in a public restroom, thank you very much -- a few feet behind you, walking up to the urinal, doing your business, and all the while praying to dear God that the puppy doesn't do anything stupid. If he does do something, you're totally at his mercy. So, as a big number two, it's thirty seconds of sheer nerves.

Last but certainly not least, all this assumes you already have a well-mannered puppy. There are all sorts of "interesting" smells, noises, people, and things in even a spotless restroom; you can imagine how much worse a run-of-the-mill truck stop can be. As if there weren't enough ways for the bathroom "outing" to go bad already, with a young puppy who hasn't been in too many restrooms, you should probably quadruple that number. If your puppy gets spooked by something and freaks out, it's all over.

Lester hasn't been in very many restrooms. And he's not at all happy about the automatic flush on some urinals. Enough said.

Anyways, I'm sure you're wondering by now, "I thought this entry was supposed to be about soap?" It is, I promise.

So, with the above in mind, I've started taking Lester into the bathroom with me. In the morning, he very politely sat behind me while I brushed my teeth. As a reward, I gave him a very toothpaste-foamy kiss on his nose, which had him running in circles, sneezing and licking at it for a good ten minutes. (OK, fine, so maybe it was more of a reward for me. But it was very cute and amusing!) He went to the bathroom with me another two or three times throughout the day. He once knocked over a can of shaving cream to the bathtub floor, which came down with a loud band and momentarily scared him, but otherwise he was the model of good behavior.

Getting up my courage, I took Lester with me for a shower. Normally, they'll just settle down outside the bathtub and go to sleep. Not so much with Lester: soon, he was up and off circling the bathroom, hunting and sniffing around for who knows what. Eventually, I grabbed ahold of his dragline and had him sit by the tub. That worked for about a minute: he soon figured out that there were far more interesting smells and things inside the bathtub, and although he didn't try to get in, he kept craning his neck over to try get at them. I'd left the shower curtain half open so that he could still see me (and know that I hadn't disappeared), and whenever I'd get within tongue-range, he'd reach out for a quick lick. Trying to be clever, I soaped up my calf extra well, thinking it'd be like the toothpaste and teach him a lesson. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. Next time I got within range, not only did he go for one lick, he liked it so much, he kept straining to lick the rest of it off! By the time I figured out that my clever little plan wasn't working, there was a good two- or three-inch patch where all the soap had been licked off my calf.

Dogs.

Lester, 1; Kushal, 2.

Labels: Lester

Permalink | Written at 9:13 PM | Post a comment | 1 comments | Trackbacks

That video is interesting - what percentage of the male population follows the rules?
Permalink   | Posted by  stephanie at January 29, 2007 5:49 PM